T-minus 15 minutes to vomit

So I'm currently home for spring break, and its been a relatively fun week. I've seen some friends and got to visit with the preschool kids.

Yesterday morning started out fine. My throat was in a little pain from this cold I've been having but nothing too bad. I get up around 9am and get dressed and head my way over to World of Wonders Nursery school to see some of the kids I haven't seen for a few months. Everything was great, we did projects and played the egg cracking game, and of course afterwards ate the eggs. I'm sure this was my first mistake of the day.

Afterwards all the kids went out side for an egg hunt and it was adorable and funny and I'll miss them when I have to drive 8hours back to Alfred. Meg-Meg called requesting time to visit which I gladly agreed too. We haven't seen each other in a long while. So around noon I head over to pick her up and we spend a couple hours shopping and then head over to Asian to grab something to eat. Meg also wanted me to try a mixed drink called "Blue Hawaii" that she'd tried and loved. Biggest mistake.

So we get there and are seated and place our orders. I get shrimp lo mien and a Blue Hawaii and we sit and chat while we wait. The drinks come first and Meg was very right. The drink is delicious. Its bright blue and tastes like pineapple and fruit punch, topped with a lime, cherry and an orange slice. Oh joy. We continue our chatter after our food arrives and we can both feel that funny tingle in your nose you get when you've had something to drink. My meal filled me so fast I couldn't even finish it. It wasn't a content full either, it was a terrible unhappy fill, mixed with alcohol. Meg said she was feeling sick too but I don't think she quiet understood just how sick I said I felt.

We sit for a little while more before getting up to pay and we leave. I drop her off at her house and as soon as she was inside I got that feeling. The feeling you get when you know you're going to throw up. You're not ready to yet, but you're going to, and you have to wait for it. Thankfully she doesn't live far from my house or else my car would need emergency detailing right now. All the way home I'm breathing through my nose for fear of opening my mouth. Long deep breaths trying to fight my meal down.

I wont lie, I was speeding most of the way home, but when you can feel reverse peristalsis happening I think anyone would. I pulled into my drive way, I parked, and threw the car door open hung over the side of my car and nothing happened. I leaned over for a few seconds feeling certain that was going to water moms flower bed in acidic hate, shrimp, and blue hawaii. I don't remember any train of thought other then "get inside."

Slowly and painfully I climbed the stairs to the bathroom, knowing that if I rushed, I would ruin the hardwood floor. Thanks to the wonderful design of my house, the bathroom is directly at the top of the stairs. As soon as I looked down into the watery depths of the toilet bowl before me, all the rage inside my stomach boiled over. Never in my life do I ever remember vomiting so violently. It came out my nose. Vomit went everywhere. It was awful.

This is the part of the story where you think things are going to get better. You're suppose to feel relieved, maybe lay down and take a nap to wake up and feel worlds better. No. Not this time.

After filling the toilet with all the hate my stomach could give it, I immediately had to turn around and defecate on top of it all. So I sat there, crying and shitting and blowing and sniffling my nose to remove huge chunks of shrimp and lo mien from inside it. Every inhale through my nose brought a new wave of disgusting into my mouth. While my ass rained liquid shit. I was shaking and sobbing and once feeling like it was safe to clean myself up, I crawled into bed.

I forced myself into unconsciousness quickly, only to be woken what felt like a hundred times. First by my parents getting home. When they saw I was sleeping in the middle of the afternoon they knew something was wrong, because I NEVER take naps. I think I mumbled something to them about throwing up and feeling like death, and they let me rest. Next it was a phone call from my friend Emily who I told I would visit with. I didn't answer and fell back to sleep at once, until she called again. I ignored it, somewhat hating her in that moment. Then my cat, who I love dearly came and started sniffing my mouth and sitting on my chest. So I kicked her out. Each time I woke up I would respond to a received text explaining my current state.

After this point I slept for a while. Till about 9:55 when I woke up with the most terrible feeling. It was that kind of woozy sick, where you want nothing to do but lay down and sleep, but you can't. I tried to use my computer a bit and I drank a bunch of water, hoping it would help make me feel better, but oh was I wrong. My stomach was still angry with me, tossing and turning with that lurking "you're going to throw up again" feeling. I figured maybe I needed something to settle it. So I stumbled my way into the kitchen and started to make a pb+j sandwitch. I didn't even finish making it before I hung myself over the toilet and threw up again. This time it was just yellowish water and a few remaining bits of poorly digested food.

My stomach emptied quickly, but my body wasn't done. I spent the next two minutes dry heaving and coughing and spitting up. With my head killing me, I crawled back into bed. I tried to sleep again, but I couldn't. I could still feel that churning feeling inside, telling me my body wasn't done making me feel miserable yet. It still had to put the icing on the cake. After laying in bed and trying to sleep, the feeling hit me and I took my position back in the bathroom.

I spent the better part of an hour glued to the toilet feeling awful, with the most terrible diarrhea I've ever experienced. I tried to pass the time by playing sudoku, but I couldn't think straight. Any time I would feel like I was finished. I'd just have to crawl back to the bathroom. Sometime around 11:30pm I managed to stay in bed, but this terrible cold shiver came over me and I piled on my blankets and it took ages to get back to sleep.

My mother woke me sometime around 7:30 this morning asking if I was okay. Amazingly I was, and I am. I feel back to sleep and woke up again around 9:45 and have been up feeling better. I'm a little scared to eat anything and fear having to go to the bathroom, but overall I'm much better then last night. I might even go to boarders today, or target.

Strange Analogies

When you fall down and you scrape your knee, its going to sting quite a bit no matter what the size of a scrape you get. Some will sting longer and harder than others and not heal as quickly, but the pain will still be there. Sometimes when you fall you get a scrape you don't notice as first. You'll go about your day like nothing happened. It wont be till you pick yourself back up and look down will you realize what just happened. Only when you see the scrape does it finally start to sting.

Now a band-aid will help for a little while. It will keep the scrape clean. It might make you feel a bit better, like everything will be okay. Though after a wearing it for awhile that band-aid starts fall off. It doesn't seem to stick as well anymore, but the scrape still hurts, it doesn't feel healed yet. You don't want to take the band-aid off yet, you you still want it kept safe and clean. With out that band-aid there you start to pay attention to the scrape and it gets in the way of doing things. With out the band-aid you keep noticing how cold it feels with out it.

Then sometimes band-aids wont come off. They stay stuck to you so long that you want that band-aid to come off. You hate it there, it's bugging you. People keep pointing it out, asking you what happened. You don't like the attention. Maybe the band-aid starts to get itchy, and you just want to rip it off, but you're scared too. You want to rip it off but you know if you do it'll hurt. Like you can just tell that because the band-aids been there so long the scab has grown into it. When you pull that band-aid off the scab is just going to come with it, and your scrape will just sting and hurt all over again. You can just pull the band-aid off slowly either, you'll just drag out the pain and you'll start to notice all the little hairs that are stuck too and its going to hurt even more. That band-aid just has to come off, its driving you nuts, even if you have to put on a new band-aid just for a little while.

The best way to make a scrape feel better is to stick it in the ocean. Let the cold salt water wash it and in no time you'll start to feel better.

Heat Stroke

(Warning TLDR my apply to this post)

Today was a great day at camp! We had Thirteen kids today. Abby and Egan, who are twins. There was Helen, and Chrispen, Sydney, Aida and her brother Noland. Grace was there with her friend Ellie. Big man Charley, and Maddie with her big sister Caroline, and as always Lucy.

I’m hoping I can snap some pictures of the kids soon because I already had to say good bye to Helen today, I wont be seeing her or her sister Ella again this summer. I also don’t get to see Liv again. She left last week. I thought I wouldn’t be seeing Karly again either but Mum got a call this morning and she had so much fun she’s signing back up!

Camp runs for eight weeks and by tomorrow we will have ended our third week. A few of the kids are signed up for all eight weeks, such as Charley and Lucy. I get to see them every week, Monday through Thursday. Some of the kids are on for all eight weeks BUT they only come twice a week, or three times a week, so I get to see them off and on.

DAMN do I love them, I love each and every one of those kids. Each of them have their own crazy personalities and are just so much fun. Others can be harder to handle then others but they are still always a great bunch to be with.

Charley is the big man. He is ALL BOY. Nothing stops him. I’ve watched this kid do full on belly flops in the little pool we had. Arms Straight out and everything, NO FEAR. This four year old can do what this 20 year old is too chicken shit-to even try! He’s a tank, but still so kind and caring.

Chrispen’s such a bud. That’s all I can call him is Bud or Buddy. Absolutely adorable. It’s a little hard to communicate with him because he has a terrible speech impediment, but its so endearing. He calls shoes “oos.” He can be kind of difficult at times. Because he has such a hard time talking he tends to scream when he wants something, and I mean scream. Not just a yell but a scream so packed with worry its like he’s watching his dog get hit by a bus. This kid though, is so smart. He’s three years old and put together a huge floor puzzle with about 20-25 pieces in it, ALL by himself. It wasn’t like he took all day either, no he finished it in 10 minutes.

Abby and Egan. Twins, but so absolutely different. Abby is a normal sized girl, very healthy looking but poor Egan is so tiny I could sit him in my back pocket. His mother explained it as, “Abby just stole all the room.” He’s very sweet and shy, and its so nice to watch him open up, because usually he gives me this very weary side ways glace. Like I’m the cat and he’s the mouse. If he just keeps his eyes on me and stays quiet I wont even know he’s there. Abby on the other had is a great conversationalist. She doesn’t talk to much but what she says is always worth listening too. She greets everyone and talks to adults as easily as if she were one. At the start of the day, once all of us head inside and I finish laying out all the lunchboxes, Mum will start her story for the day and Abby never forgets to come sit on my lap while she listens.

Sydney is the artist. Her imagination is so big, I can’t believe it fits inside that little head. She is always at the drawing center, and for a four year old, her skill with the pen and paper is quite impressive. When she’s not drawing or doing “Miss Janet’s” art projects, she is always playing dress up and house, and when we go outside to play after I’ve help 12-15 kids get into swim suits she spends most of her time singing, and knows all the words to the songs.

This week there were five new little ones that I had to get to know. Aida, Noland, Maddie, Caroline and Ellie. Maddie is the younger sister to Caroline. Caroline is five and our tallest friend. She is bold, loud and giggly and so much fun. Her sister Maddie follows in those footsteps as best a three year old can. Noland seems shy, but is best friends with Charley, who always takes good care of him, and his sister Aida is so sweet. She’s three and small and absolutely adorable and wears her princess dressed to camp. She reminds me SO MUCH of Mike’s little sister Rachael, except Aida has some sharing issues, but she’s always up for a compromise. Ellie I just met today and I didn’t get a chance to talk to her very much but I believe she will be back for more camp.

Grace is a big girl, I believe she’s four or has turned five. She’s got this beautiful tan skin and dark dark curly hair. She’s so goofy and silly. I always have to look right at her while I talk with her because her expressions are priceless. She just has so much caring for others and can hoola-hoop better then me or anyone I know can.

Helen is sweet and shy just like Ella, her big sister. I had to approach them in order to get to know them. They keep to themselves a lot and don’t say much, but when I sat down with Helen today and drew her flowers and rainbows she seems to light right up. Makes me sad that I don’t get to see them again.

On Mondays, Wednesdays, and Thursdays I get to see Anna and Abigail. These two are great but are by far the most exhausting out of the entire bunch. Anna is an only child and has no patience for when my attention isn’t on her, but how can I ignore her when she’s so polite about it. It never fails, as soon as Anna walks through that gate and I put her backpack in a cubby I feel a tugging on my clothes and an “Excuesh me” about 10 times in the 15 seconds it takes me to stand up, turn around and address her. She can do quite a few things on her own but always needs my “halp” with everything. In those three days Anna is my shadow and I really don’t mind, she’s very sweet, but when I have to be taking care of a max of 15 other kids and Anna is demanding that I help her every 30 seconds, it really runs me into the ground.

Now, Abigail. What a girl. She is the reddest red head I’ve seen. Pale skin and ripe tomato red, curly hair. She’s great and adorable but very needy with some big separation and social issues. For a girl that just turned three I’m not too worried, it can be hard at that age to make friends with some six and seven year olds but she never plays with anyone else. She is always on her own, but can never not entertain herself. She loves the princess dresses and has a hard time sharing the princess dolls with anyone else, she eats markers and stamp ink so I have to watch her like a hawk when she moves for the coloring table. She changes her mind about a 10 times a minute and is always on the go, always moving. Start of camp can be hard because her poor mother can’t even sneak out the gate unless I have Abigail focused 100% on something else. She also never listens. She’s a complete day dreamer and in her own little world, but when I talk with her she’s very fun and cute. She likes me to hold her and will not let me put her down. When I’m carrying her and I need two hands, its not a problem because she’ll just latch on for dear life and hugs me like a front facing backpack leaving me free to use all limbs.

Here is where I try so hard not to play favorites, but Lucy… OH Lucy. I can’t help but love her. You can’t get enough of this little girl. She is just so wonderful. She’s a little shy and quiet and has some socializing issues but she is the sweetest, kindest, most patient, caring little girl. Her favorite color is Yellow and she loves to do the art projects we have for the day and makes sure she gives a name to every single one. I know people say that when little kids laugh its cute, but when Lucy so much as giggles it could melt any cold heart. When she full on laughs, I can’t to anything but laugh with her. She just squeals and screams with so much excitement. Now Lucy can be shy with the other kids but she’s so brave. She usually needs me to hold her hand while she goes down the big slide but one day she tried it herself. I didn’t see it happen but from what she told me, she went down too fast, which scared her and she bumped/scraped her arm. I turn around to see her crying at the bottom of the slide, hiding her face. It just about killed me too see it so I picked her up and she held me so tight and just cried. She was back to good in no time though, and sat in my lap while she ate her snack and was laughing as she watched “Mr. Crow.” Swooping around daring to steal the snacks kids leave out on their towels.

This Job is great. I love it. It can be absolutely exhausting when you have to spin 10 kids on a marry-go-round for 30mins in 85 degree weather, but its so worth it. When the end of summer comes I’m going to be heart broken that I wont get to see them all again till next year, or quite possibly ever again. It hurts even more to think about how they wont remember me. I hope they do, but the chances are slim.

Ps. I’ve been stealing my brothers Adderal and taking it in the mornings before camp. It’s a miracle pill. I am so clear headed and focused on everything. I’ve never had that before. I wish they had this back when I was in high school, my grades would have been ten times better. It makes both of my jobs so much more easy to handle and I have more energy. I have to talk to Dad about getting me my own prescription NOW because I can’t go with out it and I can’t just keep taking my brothers, he needs them as much as I do.

Overflowing With Muffins

So yesterday I had work again with Tim Horton’s. It was suppose to be me David and Ash on the clock for the 2 – 10pm shift, but poor Ash, he’s been feeling so sick and under the weather that Bob sent him home early. So instead Jamie got to fill in for him, at least until 7pm, because after that the shift is generally slow, and in any case Timmies was closing down for the night to bug bomb the building. Finally riding us of all those horrible fruit flies.

Now, Jamie is a good friend of mine. I love her to death, but I realized in those few hours working together, that we didn’t flow well. It was kind of hard working with her. Granted it was her first time on the shift and she’s used to working in the mornings which is just absolute chaos. Where as my shift is rather relaxed with random spurts of customers all the way up till 10pm. So while she worked on my shift, she had the same rushed work habits she’s gotten from the morning shift and it really threw me off.

Anyway, after she left at 7pm, it was just David and I working and our job was to demolish the kitchen in the most organized way possible. We had to take everything we possibly could, and fit it in the dry storage area in the Refrigerator. We did a pretty good job of it too, considering that we still had to run the store front and it was only two of us working. It wasn’t bad though, because we were closing the store at 9pm and half an hour before that Ron, the man that owns the place, came in and helped out.

EVERYTHING we could fit, went into that little storage room. The rest we sealed as best we could, put it on a table and threw a blanket over it but before that, Ron let David and I take as much of the left over donuts and muffins and bagels as we wanted to take. I believe I walked out of the store with around 70-80$ worth of food. Mostly in muffins and bagels and those OH SO TASTY Breakfast Biscuits. I’ve been sharing them with the family and I’m thinking of bringing some in for the kids at camp.

Filled With Work

I love working! I love love love it! I've become a workaholic.

I work at a day camp with 15 three to seven year olds from 8:30am to 12:30pm, Monday - Thusday. I also work at Tim Horton's five to six days a week. My shift is 2 - 10pm. I often work 12 hours days and I come home completely wiped out and tired, but you know what? I absolutely love my two jobs.


In the mornings I get to hang out with an awesome group of kids who love me and look up to me. They draw pictures for me and come to me for help. They treat me like a celebrity. Sure I am on my feet all morning and running around doing everything from art projects to underdogs and clean up, but its so much fun and such a work out. The only down side is sometimes I'm wrist deep is poop that I have to wipe off some little girl/boys ass, but its not so bad.


Then I get an hour break before I have to head off to Tim Horton's where I make coffee and sandwiches and bagels and grab muffins and donuts. "Is that for here or to go?" I mop floors I clean counter tops and scrub bathrooms. I change over the soups. I clean the sandwich stations. I fill drive through orders. I stock shelves and wash dishes and I get to hang out with my awesome coworkers and I have a blast doing it. I love it, its great.


These are the best two jobs ever. I make ten dollars an hour for day camp and 8 bucks an hour from Tim Hortons and I have so much fun doing everything I do that when I come home and pass out and wake up in the morning and realize its my day off and I have nothing to do. I become so lost and don't know what to do with myself. I love working THAT MUCH.


Usually my friends are all working too so on my day off I don't do anything. It sucks. I wish I could go into work on my day off and keep working..... I think I'll talk to my supervisor about that. I don't think they will let me because he already gets upset when I don't take my half hour break.


I haven't seen Meg-Meg in ages. She's working or with her boyfriend or I'm working. Times haven't seemed to meet up right just yet. Kayte is in England and Jamie works the morning shift at Timmies so I don't get to see her except for an hour on the change over. Kelsey just left for Europe as well. I don't mind though, I'm making more friends. Kyle, Patrick, David, Chelsea, Rob, Emily seems nice.


There is Sam... but he's hard to work with because he's sexist and a know it all... he also NEVER thinks before he speaks and has an air about him of "Whatever you are going to say, I'm still going to think you're an idiot." He's quoted for saying "HA, I like that I have the power to piss off all those girls"..... right because making us dislike you is "power." Go suck your cock some where else.


P.S. <3 I can't wait to take time off work to see you. xo