Strange Analogies

When you fall down and you scrape your knee, its going to sting quite a bit no matter what the size of a scrape you get. Some will sting longer and harder than others and not heal as quickly, but the pain will still be there. Sometimes when you fall you get a scrape you don't notice as first. You'll go about your day like nothing happened. It wont be till you pick yourself back up and look down will you realize what just happened. Only when you see the scrape does it finally start to sting.

Now a band-aid will help for a little while. It will keep the scrape clean. It might make you feel a bit better, like everything will be okay. Though after a wearing it for awhile that band-aid starts fall off. It doesn't seem to stick as well anymore, but the scrape still hurts, it doesn't feel healed yet. You don't want to take the band-aid off yet, you you still want it kept safe and clean. With out that band-aid there you start to pay attention to the scrape and it gets in the way of doing things. With out the band-aid you keep noticing how cold it feels with out it.

Then sometimes band-aids wont come off. They stay stuck to you so long that you want that band-aid to come off. You hate it there, it's bugging you. People keep pointing it out, asking you what happened. You don't like the attention. Maybe the band-aid starts to get itchy, and you just want to rip it off, but you're scared too. You want to rip it off but you know if you do it'll hurt. Like you can just tell that because the band-aids been there so long the scab has grown into it. When you pull that band-aid off the scab is just going to come with it, and your scrape will just sting and hurt all over again. You can just pull the band-aid off slowly either, you'll just drag out the pain and you'll start to notice all the little hairs that are stuck too and its going to hurt even more. That band-aid just has to come off, its driving you nuts, even if you have to put on a new band-aid just for a little while.

The best way to make a scrape feel better is to stick it in the ocean. Let the cold salt water wash it and in no time you'll start to feel better.

Heat Stroke

(Warning TLDR my apply to this post)

Today was a great day at camp! We had Thirteen kids today. Abby and Egan, who are twins. There was Helen, and Chrispen, Sydney, Aida and her brother Noland. Grace was there with her friend Ellie. Big man Charley, and Maddie with her big sister Caroline, and as always Lucy.

I’m hoping I can snap some pictures of the kids soon because I already had to say good bye to Helen today, I wont be seeing her or her sister Ella again this summer. I also don’t get to see Liv again. She left last week. I thought I wouldn’t be seeing Karly again either but Mum got a call this morning and she had so much fun she’s signing back up!

Camp runs for eight weeks and by tomorrow we will have ended our third week. A few of the kids are signed up for all eight weeks, such as Charley and Lucy. I get to see them every week, Monday through Thursday. Some of the kids are on for all eight weeks BUT they only come twice a week, or three times a week, so I get to see them off and on.

DAMN do I love them, I love each and every one of those kids. Each of them have their own crazy personalities and are just so much fun. Others can be harder to handle then others but they are still always a great bunch to be with.

Charley is the big man. He is ALL BOY. Nothing stops him. I’ve watched this kid do full on belly flops in the little pool we had. Arms Straight out and everything, NO FEAR. This four year old can do what this 20 year old is too chicken shit-to even try! He’s a tank, but still so kind and caring.

Chrispen’s such a bud. That’s all I can call him is Bud or Buddy. Absolutely adorable. It’s a little hard to communicate with him because he has a terrible speech impediment, but its so endearing. He calls shoes “oos.” He can be kind of difficult at times. Because he has such a hard time talking he tends to scream when he wants something, and I mean scream. Not just a yell but a scream so packed with worry its like he’s watching his dog get hit by a bus. This kid though, is so smart. He’s three years old and put together a huge floor puzzle with about 20-25 pieces in it, ALL by himself. It wasn’t like he took all day either, no he finished it in 10 minutes.

Abby and Egan. Twins, but so absolutely different. Abby is a normal sized girl, very healthy looking but poor Egan is so tiny I could sit him in my back pocket. His mother explained it as, “Abby just stole all the room.” He’s very sweet and shy, and its so nice to watch him open up, because usually he gives me this very weary side ways glace. Like I’m the cat and he’s the mouse. If he just keeps his eyes on me and stays quiet I wont even know he’s there. Abby on the other had is a great conversationalist. She doesn’t talk to much but what she says is always worth listening too. She greets everyone and talks to adults as easily as if she were one. At the start of the day, once all of us head inside and I finish laying out all the lunchboxes, Mum will start her story for the day and Abby never forgets to come sit on my lap while she listens.

Sydney is the artist. Her imagination is so big, I can’t believe it fits inside that little head. She is always at the drawing center, and for a four year old, her skill with the pen and paper is quite impressive. When she’s not drawing or doing “Miss Janet’s” art projects, she is always playing dress up and house, and when we go outside to play after I’ve help 12-15 kids get into swim suits she spends most of her time singing, and knows all the words to the songs.

This week there were five new little ones that I had to get to know. Aida, Noland, Maddie, Caroline and Ellie. Maddie is the younger sister to Caroline. Caroline is five and our tallest friend. She is bold, loud and giggly and so much fun. Her sister Maddie follows in those footsteps as best a three year old can. Noland seems shy, but is best friends with Charley, who always takes good care of him, and his sister Aida is so sweet. She’s three and small and absolutely adorable and wears her princess dressed to camp. She reminds me SO MUCH of Mike’s little sister Rachael, except Aida has some sharing issues, but she’s always up for a compromise. Ellie I just met today and I didn’t get a chance to talk to her very much but I believe she will be back for more camp.

Grace is a big girl, I believe she’s four or has turned five. She’s got this beautiful tan skin and dark dark curly hair. She’s so goofy and silly. I always have to look right at her while I talk with her because her expressions are priceless. She just has so much caring for others and can hoola-hoop better then me or anyone I know can.

Helen is sweet and shy just like Ella, her big sister. I had to approach them in order to get to know them. They keep to themselves a lot and don’t say much, but when I sat down with Helen today and drew her flowers and rainbows she seems to light right up. Makes me sad that I don’t get to see them again.

On Mondays, Wednesdays, and Thursdays I get to see Anna and Abigail. These two are great but are by far the most exhausting out of the entire bunch. Anna is an only child and has no patience for when my attention isn’t on her, but how can I ignore her when she’s so polite about it. It never fails, as soon as Anna walks through that gate and I put her backpack in a cubby I feel a tugging on my clothes and an “Excuesh me” about 10 times in the 15 seconds it takes me to stand up, turn around and address her. She can do quite a few things on her own but always needs my “halp” with everything. In those three days Anna is my shadow and I really don’t mind, she’s very sweet, but when I have to be taking care of a max of 15 other kids and Anna is demanding that I help her every 30 seconds, it really runs me into the ground.

Now, Abigail. What a girl. She is the reddest red head I’ve seen. Pale skin and ripe tomato red, curly hair. She’s great and adorable but very needy with some big separation and social issues. For a girl that just turned three I’m not too worried, it can be hard at that age to make friends with some six and seven year olds but she never plays with anyone else. She is always on her own, but can never not entertain herself. She loves the princess dresses and has a hard time sharing the princess dolls with anyone else, she eats markers and stamp ink so I have to watch her like a hawk when she moves for the coloring table. She changes her mind about a 10 times a minute and is always on the go, always moving. Start of camp can be hard because her poor mother can’t even sneak out the gate unless I have Abigail focused 100% on something else. She also never listens. She’s a complete day dreamer and in her own little world, but when I talk with her she’s very fun and cute. She likes me to hold her and will not let me put her down. When I’m carrying her and I need two hands, its not a problem because she’ll just latch on for dear life and hugs me like a front facing backpack leaving me free to use all limbs.

Here is where I try so hard not to play favorites, but Lucy… OH Lucy. I can’t help but love her. You can’t get enough of this little girl. She is just so wonderful. She’s a little shy and quiet and has some socializing issues but she is the sweetest, kindest, most patient, caring little girl. Her favorite color is Yellow and she loves to do the art projects we have for the day and makes sure she gives a name to every single one. I know people say that when little kids laugh its cute, but when Lucy so much as giggles it could melt any cold heart. When she full on laughs, I can’t to anything but laugh with her. She just squeals and screams with so much excitement. Now Lucy can be shy with the other kids but she’s so brave. She usually needs me to hold her hand while she goes down the big slide but one day she tried it herself. I didn’t see it happen but from what she told me, she went down too fast, which scared her and she bumped/scraped her arm. I turn around to see her crying at the bottom of the slide, hiding her face. It just about killed me too see it so I picked her up and she held me so tight and just cried. She was back to good in no time though, and sat in my lap while she ate her snack and was laughing as she watched “Mr. Crow.” Swooping around daring to steal the snacks kids leave out on their towels.

This Job is great. I love it. It can be absolutely exhausting when you have to spin 10 kids on a marry-go-round for 30mins in 85 degree weather, but its so worth it. When the end of summer comes I’m going to be heart broken that I wont get to see them all again till next year, or quite possibly ever again. It hurts even more to think about how they wont remember me. I hope they do, but the chances are slim.

Ps. I’ve been stealing my brothers Adderal and taking it in the mornings before camp. It’s a miracle pill. I am so clear headed and focused on everything. I’ve never had that before. I wish they had this back when I was in high school, my grades would have been ten times better. It makes both of my jobs so much more easy to handle and I have more energy. I have to talk to Dad about getting me my own prescription NOW because I can’t go with out it and I can’t just keep taking my brothers, he needs them as much as I do.

Overflowing With Muffins

So yesterday I had work again with Tim Horton’s. It was suppose to be me David and Ash on the clock for the 2 – 10pm shift, but poor Ash, he’s been feeling so sick and under the weather that Bob sent him home early. So instead Jamie got to fill in for him, at least until 7pm, because after that the shift is generally slow, and in any case Timmies was closing down for the night to bug bomb the building. Finally riding us of all those horrible fruit flies.

Now, Jamie is a good friend of mine. I love her to death, but I realized in those few hours working together, that we didn’t flow well. It was kind of hard working with her. Granted it was her first time on the shift and she’s used to working in the mornings which is just absolute chaos. Where as my shift is rather relaxed with random spurts of customers all the way up till 10pm. So while she worked on my shift, she had the same rushed work habits she’s gotten from the morning shift and it really threw me off.

Anyway, after she left at 7pm, it was just David and I working and our job was to demolish the kitchen in the most organized way possible. We had to take everything we possibly could, and fit it in the dry storage area in the Refrigerator. We did a pretty good job of it too, considering that we still had to run the store front and it was only two of us working. It wasn’t bad though, because we were closing the store at 9pm and half an hour before that Ron, the man that owns the place, came in and helped out.

EVERYTHING we could fit, went into that little storage room. The rest we sealed as best we could, put it on a table and threw a blanket over it but before that, Ron let David and I take as much of the left over donuts and muffins and bagels as we wanted to take. I believe I walked out of the store with around 70-80$ worth of food. Mostly in muffins and bagels and those OH SO TASTY Breakfast Biscuits. I’ve been sharing them with the family and I’m thinking of bringing some in for the kids at camp.

Filled With Work

I love working! I love love love it! I've become a workaholic.

I work at a day camp with 15 three to seven year olds from 8:30am to 12:30pm, Monday - Thusday. I also work at Tim Horton's five to six days a week. My shift is 2 - 10pm. I often work 12 hours days and I come home completely wiped out and tired, but you know what? I absolutely love my two jobs.


In the mornings I get to hang out with an awesome group of kids who love me and look up to me. They draw pictures for me and come to me for help. They treat me like a celebrity. Sure I am on my feet all morning and running around doing everything from art projects to underdogs and clean up, but its so much fun and such a work out. The only down side is sometimes I'm wrist deep is poop that I have to wipe off some little girl/boys ass, but its not so bad.


Then I get an hour break before I have to head off to Tim Horton's where I make coffee and sandwiches and bagels and grab muffins and donuts. "Is that for here or to go?" I mop floors I clean counter tops and scrub bathrooms. I change over the soups. I clean the sandwich stations. I fill drive through orders. I stock shelves and wash dishes and I get to hang out with my awesome coworkers and I have a blast doing it. I love it, its great.


These are the best two jobs ever. I make ten dollars an hour for day camp and 8 bucks an hour from Tim Hortons and I have so much fun doing everything I do that when I come home and pass out and wake up in the morning and realize its my day off and I have nothing to do. I become so lost and don't know what to do with myself. I love working THAT MUCH.


Usually my friends are all working too so on my day off I don't do anything. It sucks. I wish I could go into work on my day off and keep working..... I think I'll talk to my supervisor about that. I don't think they will let me because he already gets upset when I don't take my half hour break.


I haven't seen Meg-Meg in ages. She's working or with her boyfriend or I'm working. Times haven't seemed to meet up right just yet. Kayte is in England and Jamie works the morning shift at Timmies so I don't get to see her except for an hour on the change over. Kelsey just left for Europe as well. I don't mind though, I'm making more friends. Kyle, Patrick, David, Chelsea, Rob, Emily seems nice.


There is Sam... but he's hard to work with because he's sexist and a know it all... he also NEVER thinks before he speaks and has an air about him of "Whatever you are going to say, I'm still going to think you're an idiot." He's quoted for saying "HA, I like that I have the power to piss off all those girls"..... right because making us dislike you is "power." Go suck your cock some where else.


P.S. <3 I can't wait to take time off work to see you. xo

Getting Even Better

So yesterday I finally got my drivers license. After working myself up into a fit about how I know I was going to just fail my test again, to my surprise I managed to parallel park perfectly on the first try. I drove around with this very by-the-book kind of man, he didn’t even want to chit-chat other then to brag to me that he did nearly 2000 drivers examinations just last year alone, but made a point to say that he didn’t get paid extra for it. He kept his voice void of any emotion the entire test and gave off this feeling of I’m just going to fail you.

So when the test was done and we pulled back into the DMV and I parked the car he announced to me that I had achieved driving status by saying. “You were one second away from failing this test.” I asked him what he meant and he told me that when we where at a stop sign intersection I started to pull away to make a right turn on red in a no right turn on red zone, when suddenly the arrow flicked to green and made it okay for me to drive out. He said that if I was a second earlier then he would have had to fail me, which to him sounded like it would have been fun.

But now that I have my license I feel so much better.

So Happy

So today I went into Tim Horton's just to talk to Kayte while Jamie and Megan got something for lunch. I was just standing around when the manager comes out and asks me about my application I had put in a week earlier. Five minutes later I am sitting down in a short but simple interview with a man name Bob and he asks me some easy questions and followed by the “So why do you think I should hire you question?” I told him.

“Well, I have had some good experience with cranky customers and their picky food orderings because when I was working at a hot dog stand I had to make sure I got it right when the little old lady I was serving wanted her mustard on the bottom under the hot dog or on top, or when the little kids just want the hot dog, and the bun, but separate. Also I’ve been working for years with very small children which has given me more patience then I could ever need.”

He seemed to like this answer and asked me all the hours I could work, as soon as I could work, and what size I would need for my goofy little uniform that I will be forced to wear. He said I was exactly what he’s been looking for and put me on for the 2pm to 10pm shift seeing as I will already be working mornings for the Back To Basics day camp. I’ll also be working weekends but by the sound of it, it seems relatively easy to get off of work so planning to go visit mike shouldn’t be too hard.

---

I got to talk to Mike tonight on the phone and I have to say, he’s wonderful. We are miles and miles apart and I miss him terribly but the long distance isn’t hard to deal with. I absolutely love hearing from him and even though we don’t talk on the phone every night or even on the internet every night. I don’t feel like we have slipped away from each other at all. Our conversations are always fun and I can tell he misses me with out having to ask him if he does. (Though I have asked him but that’s only because I wanted to hear him say it. Hehe.) He’s so good to me. You hear stories about how the distance just rips people apart but Mike and I seem to have this unspoken level of understanding. We both care about each other, so why should this time apart change anything.

Filled With Disappointment

I can’t, I just can’t believe she’d be so stupid. It kills me to say it because I love her, but god damn it Jamie you have been making some of the worst choices for yourself lately that I have ever seen you make, and it really makes me think a lot less of you.

Now I know we all do stupid things from time to time, and I’m not one to talk because I sure have made some poor relationship choices in the past. Like dating Kinger… but Jamie, you know Ash is a horrible choice for you to make, you have even told me he is. You have admitted yourself he makes you nothing but bitter and angry.

Why, after he has tossed you around and used you for TWO YEAS that you would agree to dated that ugly Cro-Magnon piece of shit? Has he benefited your life in any way since he has come into it? I highly doubt it, because you and I have both said that his bad points far out weigh his good points.

What really scares me now is that you might actually have sex with this creature. You have told me the only reason you haven’t is because the two of you haven’t officially been dating. Do you really want to give that monster sex, not to mention your first time, when he doesn’t disserve it?

“Well he does offer to buy me food when we go to Terra Cotta.” Yeah? Does he do anything else for you? No. Mike has been very kind to buy me food at Terra Cotta too, he’s also driven me all the way to Rochester in the rain because I mentioned I had a craving for Ihop. Has Ash ever done something like that for you? NO, he hasn’t.

The last thing I remember him doing at Terra Cotta was him being a whiny ass hole over the phone because you were not up in the suits playing World Of Warcraft. He actually told you to stop hanging out with me, who you hardly get to see in Alfred, so you could go play the shittiest game known to man. Then, what do you do? You reward him by saying “Well I’ll bring you something back from Terra Cotta.” So you bring him a Jones Soda and when he gets it, he is an ungrateful piece of shit and says that it’s the wrong kind but he’ll drink it anyway…

What’s going to happen when you go over to Italy, Jamie? Are you going to do what you have been telling us, which is do a lot of growing and find a good man? I doubt it. If I know you, you’re going to have an even harder time letting go of this stupid relationship you’re in because now that you have it you’ll do anything to keep it.

Go ahead, try the long distance, you and I both know it wont work. He’s going to smash what ever is left of your heart and walk away and get another girl, like you know he is so good at doing. Need I remind you of the time that he fucked another girl in the shower while you two were trying to start a relationship?

I’m done, I don’t want to rant anymore, its making me cry that one of my best friends could do this to herself. When she knows it wont work and is only going to hurt herself.

Cold and rainy day

So yesterday was strange day. It started off by being harassed more and more by Morris on AIM. I just ignored it and called the police. They talked to me got my story and told me that there really isn’t anything they can do about it.

I just started crying and cleaning everything in my room as fast as I could and I even went into the kitchen and got everything ready to bake cookies but I realized we didn’t have everything I needed. I was so distressed. After that though I went and hung out with Matt and Sean for a while. It was actually very nice.

Then this morning, Morris messages me again, and I figure. Since the police can’t do anything, why not just talk to him. So I spent the entire morning talking to Morris. At first he was angry and the same old harassing statements but I talked him down off his high horse and made him understand. Now he’s back to normal and apologized for everything that he said to me. We have been chatting casually since then. Its actually kind of nice in a weird way. At least I don’t get told I’m a slut every day now.

Hopefully later this evening I will get together with the girls and hang out.

Confessions

So, I have a stealing problem. I take anything that I know I can get away with. Today I stole an Abercrombie shirt. Its exciting and fun and if I was rich or they didn't jack up the prices, then I wouldn't have too. OH WELL.


I've still been eating super healthy and working out still. My weight is down by five pounds, not that big of a deal. But GOD DAMN do I want to eat shit food. I want to shovel everything thats bad for me in my mouth. Candy, soda, fast food, ect. Not even just bad food, I just want to eat eat eat eat eat. I wont though because I'm looking great in this new bikini of mine.


Also my boyfriend Mike leaves for his internship with the DIA (Defense Intelligence Agency) in Washington DC soon. I'm excited for him and can't wait to go down and visit him. I found plane tickets for only 60$ round trip. Absolutely ecstatic. Seeing him will be great I miss him so much.


In other news, I have a massive sun burn but a lovely tan and its not even half way through the summer yet.

*EDIT*
UGH I had 12 pieces of delicious sushi for dinner tonight and thats all I ate, untill I had to ruin it by eating 6 oatmeal cookies and two small brownies at my brother art show in the middle school. I was so full and now I feel gross. GREAT. God I hate that feeling.

Burnt Like Lobster

So today was a good day over all.

I woke up at 9am and got up and did my morning routine of 35 sit ups, 25 lunges on each leg, and 20 leg lifts before hopping into the shower. I wanted to get clean and blow dry my hair before the days heat kicked in and it makes a usually 20min blow drying job turn into 45mins.

Then spent some time dicking around on the internet, I got on my bike and ride myself down to Fort Williams to visit and old school friend Matt Coomb and his fiancé Mellissa. He seems to be doing really well over all, very happy and we chatted for a while about all the people that were in our high school that have now amounted to nothing. Funny and a good time. After that we said our good byes and I got back on my bike and rode home.

After that I got a call from Kayte to go out with her after she got off work at 4pm. She said she would be around by 4:30. So I spent the rest of the time chatting with my sister and talking about nutrition and ways that she can stay healthy and get in shape because she feels she has put on some unwanted pounds. I also cleaned my room and everything is nice and neat and orderly again. Though a messy room for me is probably a clean room for most other people.

Once Kayte got to my house we talked all the way to the mall about what a horrible day she had been having and I really do feel so bad for her. Stupid Bank Of America really jew’d her out. I suggested she switch to Key Bank, which is what I used, and has really been a great success for me. She agreed and we strolled into Victoria’s Secret and I got a lovely new bra that I have been waiting for for AGES. It fits great and looks great and was ten dollars off. And in case you don’t know Victoria’s Secrets prices, that’s a huge deal. After that we headed to TJ Max and Kayte got two cute dresses and I left with my eye on a few more things I want to buy when I have some extra cash.

She took me home and mom and I talked about MORE baby-sitting jobs that I have and I start work for her in a week which I am excited about. After that I went into my room and called up the boyfriend Mike and had a nice 47 min chat with him on the phone. God do I really love talking to him. We call each other about once a week and I look forward to hearing his voice and talking to him one on one so much. It really keeps things special and nice and alive for me even though we are over 500 miles apart. I miss him so much but I know I can make long distance work and I trust he can too. Besides I’ll be seeing him in a little while anyway when I go down to Washington DC to visit him on his internship.

Over all I say it was a good day for me. Mom is taking me and Rachel to Victoria’s Secret again tomorrow and I might be able to pick up another bra which would be amazing. All in All a good day.

P.S. I have a nice tan and a sun burn on top of a sun burn. Its okay though. I like the feeling of skin cancer.

New beginings

So this is my first blog entry ever.

I’ve used live journal in the past but its never really caught me eye. My friend Kayte has been using a blog lately and she really motivated me to get one. So here I am. Hopefully I can keep up with this and write some funny, personal, anything goes types of stories that I gather in my life time.